Steel Dawn Review

MPAA Rating: R
Released: 1987

Steel Dawn was a post-apocalyptic action flick released in 1987 that starred Patrick Swayze as a weary wanderer aimlessly traveling the desert wastelands until he comes across a small community in need of protection against a marauding gang that is jealously eyeing their source of water. Comparisons to the classic Road Warrior and other such movies are inevitable since Steel Dawn shares many of the former's plot ideas, so let's see how the film holds up against its peers…

As the film opens we see a grizzled nomad (Patrick Swayze) with the rather creative moniker Nomad (a masterstroke of genius, if I say so myself!) standing on his head in the midst of a desert. After a few flashes of his face, which due to the strain of standing on his head has the appearance of a man with a serious case of constipation, three short humanoids bearing a striking resemblance to the Star Wars Sand People crawl out of the desert sand and race towards the man's backpack. Before they can make way with the backpack and its contents, Nomad, who was expecting the attempted theft, finally gets off his head and smacks the little buggers around like a redheaded stepchild.

You may be wondering to yourself why the man would stand on his head when he knew foes were close and ready to steal his backpack. If so, please hit the pause button on your remote and go grab a bottle of whiskey, because you're not yet inebriated enough to continue with this movie. Once you are giggling and drooling like the village idiot, come on back and continue with the movie. Sure, you still won't know why a man would stand on his head when danger is near, but you won't care either.

After Nomad is finished slicing and dicing his way through the little sand dudes like a Japanese chef in a sushi shop he heads to a tavern, at which time he meets Cord (John Fujioka), his old martial arts Mentor. Cord chastises Nomad's lifestyle a bit (hey, what are friends for?) and then tells him he's on his way to become a Peacemaker (the future's equivalent of policemen, I guess) at a nearby community.

Without warning Nomad suddenly swipes away Cord's mug of booze, spilling it all. That is a crime of the highest offense, since anyone even remotely involved with this film deserved all the alcohol they wanted to get him or her through, but there was a method to Nomad's madness (for once!). Somehow while he was drinking away at his own mug he detected the booze was drugged, so he mustered enough strength to save his Mentor before collapsing on the floor in a stupor.

Is he a hero? Well… no. Some thugs enter the premises and proceed to kill Cord anyways. It's the thought that counts, though!

After burning the corpse of his fallen buddy, Nomad continues his wandering. Ever notice how nearly everyone burns their dead in these post-apocalyptic movies when there's more than enough soft sandy desert to bury them? Ah, who cares when you're dead anyways…

Nomad comes across the community that Cord was originally going to protect, currently being run by a wild-haired blonde woman named Kasha (Lisa Niemi), who as an aside happens to be Swayze's real-life wife (the actress, not the character!). She offers him the opportunity for food, water and residence in exchange for work, but Tark (Brion James), her burly right-hand man and the protector of the community, doesn't trust him.

Let me just fast-forward through the rest of the summary. Damnil (Anthony Zerbe) is the leader of some bad guys, and they want Kasha's water. Nomad decides he likes Kasha and the community, so he beats a few of Damnil's men and steals one of their generators. Damnil decides Nomad is a pretty tough adversary and hires an assassin, Sho (Christopher Neame), to kill Nomad. Coincidentally enough, Sho is also the one that killed Cord - what a small world! Good guy has multiple flashy sword fights with bad guys, movie ends.

The acting is not noteworthy in the least in Steel Dawn. Heck, I have always found Swayze a pretty entertaining fellow to watch in his own cheesy yet charismatic way (Road House, Red Dawn, etc.), but here he just puts me to sleep with his wooden performance. Brion James tries to inject some life into the movie, but frankly he's cursed with crappy script, so there's not much he can do.

The pace of Steel Dawn is also uneven, for although the film is billed as a post-apocalyptic action flick there are periods in the middle of the movie that just drag on and on. In quality movies these periods would be called juicy character exposition, but here it's just called groan-worthy monotony.

By now you're probably predicting this movie is going to get a reprehensibly poor rating, right? Well, it's sure not going to get a good rating! But I won't be merciless either, because this movie does have something to offer: some fairly well executed fight scenes. Despite the low budget, ugly settings and flawed acting, somehow the crew was able to pull out some fairly flashy and brutal sword fights that should appeal to most action fans.

The final verdict is if you are a fan of post-apocalyptic films then you may decide Steel Dawn is worth a rental; due to its action scenes it could be considered a barely acceptable guilty pleasure. Just don't expect anything on the same level of The Road Warrior or you are bound to be sorely disappointed.

Movie rating: 5 stars

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