Risky Business Review

MPAA Rating: R
Released: 1983

Risky Business is often considered to be one of the seminal comedies of the 1980's, as well as the film that launched Tom Cruise into superstardom. The story focuses on a responsible college-bound high school senior that suddenly finds a measure of independence when his affluent parents go out of town for a few days. But with freedom and an empty house comes temptations too enticing for a teen to resist…

Joel Goodsen (Tom Cruise) is a senior that lives a good and disciplined life. His parents reside in an affluent Chicago neighborhood, his grades are impressive and his college outlook is positive. In fact he's so dependable that his parents can only gripe about minor things such as turning the bass up on their stereo equalizer. But that soon changes when his parents head away for a few days, entrusting the house and their possessions to his care.

Sure, Joel tries to be responsible… he truly does. But alas, a mischievous friend, Miles (Curtis Armstrong) plants a seed during the midst of a conversation that soon sprouts into a twisted chaotic mess.

Joel: Me, I don't want to make a mistake… jeopardize my future.
Miles: Joel, you wanna know something?
Joel: What?
Miles: Every now and then say, "What the f**k." "What the f**k" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.

So Joel returns home, enjoys a frozen TV dinner (and yes, I mean frozen) and then proceeds to dance around his house in his underwear while flailing away on his air guitar. Now I don't know whether or not Joel was taking his buddy's advice to heart during his performance, but watching that display certainly made the profound three-word statement fly through my head. I'm not sure it gave me freedom or opportunity as was promised, though. Oh well, you can't have it all.

Late one evening our buddy Joel is feeling rather randy and finds that a fertile imagination and his right hand doesn't quite cut it, so he picks up the phone and calls a hooker. Ooops, I forgot, hookers are illegal. I mean he calls up a professional "escort." The escort, who is named Lana (Rebecca De Mornay), arrives shortly thereafter and rocks the young stud's world, but the next morning the temporary high is killed when Joel comes to find his night of passion cost him $300.00, significantly more than the allowance his parents allotted him.

While some teens would panic, our buddy Joel is cool as ice. He just heads to the bank, cashes in some bonds given to him by his grandparents (my, they must be so proud!) and returns home, cash in hand. There's just one problem… Lana grew impatient and instead ran away with a crystal egg prized highly by his mother. Now it's time to panic.

Joel jumps into his father's Porshe and searches the city for Lana so he can retrieve his egg. He soon finds her, as well as Guido (Joe Pantoliano), her ill-tempered pimp. Wait, I mean manager; it's hard to keep up with all the "legitimate" terminology when describing prostitution. It seems Lana has annoyed Guido, dragging Joel into a wild car chase through the city.

The adventures take off from there as Lana stays at Joel's house and develops a quirky friendship with the young man. Lana soon proves the old adage "with friends like you, who needs enemies" when she accidentally sends his father's prized Porshe down a dock straight into Lake Michigan.

Ah, but fear not loyal readers, for Joel's adventure has just begun. Lana, always the intelligent young hussy, comes up with a brilliant idea: convert Joel's home into a whorehouse for one evening to earn enough money to repair the car before his parents get home. All she needs to do is call over some of her fellow "escorts" while he brings his rich and horny friends over. Sure, such a plot may entail risky business, but history has proven that rich horndogs and loose, enterprising women make for good profits, and Joel and Lana's experience was no different.

Of course during the midst of the "party" Joel receives an unexpected visitor: Bill Rutherford (Richard Masur), an interviewer for Princeton college. The whole interview gets off to a rough start when beautiful women and desperate teenagers subject the two to constant interruptions, but it really takes a plunge for the worse when Joel tries to expound Miles' knowledge with his interviewer:

Joel: You know Bill, there's one thing I've learned in all my years. Sometimes you've gotta say what the f**k and make your move.
Bill: I beg your pardon?

Interview over… so much for Princeton! The rest of the movie finds Joel trying to evade other assorted bullets such as failing mid-terms due to non-attendance, school suspension and of course the angry killer-pimp Guido, who's not quite ready to let Joel run off with his prized girl. Can he repair his father's car and get the house in order before his parents' imminent arrival, or will the risky business put his smooth future on ice?

Risky Business was certainly an influential teenage movie, built on the solid foundation of the timeless vision of a dancing Tom Cruise. The problem is that one scene is a miniscule part of the movie, and the rest of the film just isn't as memorable twenty-plus years later. While there are fun moments to be had throughout the film, and Cruise's charisma carries Risky Business along well enough, at times it struggles along, almost uncertain of how to best strike the viewer's funny bone.

Joel: You know, I don't think I'm going to say what the f**k anymore. This thing has gotten way out of control.

You know, Joel, I think you're right. It's time to close this review and put this all behind us.

Although Risky Business falls far short of greatness and receives a lot more rabid praise than I think it deserves, it's still a fun film to watch when you're in the mood for some mindless entertainment.

Movie rating: 6 stars

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