G.I. Joe: The Movie Review

MPAA Rating: NR
Released: 1987

Thousands of children would race home after school during the later 80's, anxious to catch the latest episode of G.I. Joe and watch everyone's favorite American heroes thwart the latest evil plot from the bumbling terrorist organization, Cobra. With the rising popularity of DVD, the original movies and cartoon series are slowly being released so that older fans can relive their childhoods, and a newer generation can capture the same magic their fathers fondly recall.

G.I. Joe: The Movie was released around the culmination of the cartoon series, and although fans of G.I. Joe and action-packed cartoons will find it a thrilling flashback to the past, the end result will likely prove to be a mixed bag to many old fans.

G.I. Joe: The Movie opens to an extended and remixed version of the cartoon's theme song, a remix that is stirring and effective, I might add. While the song plays an intense battle takes place on the Statue of Liberty. Cobra and his team are determined to detonate the statue, and the American heroes battle to save the beloved landmark. This scene represents the best the series had to offer.

The battle is a fast and furious exchange of fists, gunfire and explosions, a visual feast for the eyes. Of course in classic G.I. Joe fashion, no one actually dies, yet despite this fact the battle is just as captivating for adults as it is for children.

What begins as perhaps the best scene in G.I. Joe's history fades away as the battle and theme song ends, segueing into the actual movie. Alas, the momentum quickly falters as we begin to see what direction the main plot of the movie will take - a direction that betrays some of the nature of the popular cartoon series.

Cobra Commander was always a favorite character throughout the cartoon series, due in large part to his incompetent, braggadocios manner and the constant bickering that existed between him and his right-hand man, Destro. This chemistry and buffoonery is lost in this movie, for the introduction of Emperor Serpentor has the former Cobra lackeys following his commands rather than the Commander's.

Now this wouldn't necessarily have been so bad, for the nature of Serpentor is intriguing (he was created by combining the genetics of the world's most intelligent and powerful historical figures). But also tossed into the mix is an ancient race of snake creatures that leave their Antarctic hideaway to reclaim leadership over the Cobra organization. Apparently the Cobra organization that we all came to know and love (to hate, that is) was simply an offshoot of its parent organization, the Cobrala. Yeah, a brilliantly creative name, isn't it?

That, dear readers, was offense number one. Replacing the fun of the Cobra Commander and his equally oafish sidekicks with unrealistic (even in cartoon terms!) snake-men removes a good portion of the levity that separated the frequent action scenes. The new race possesses no charisma or appeal – they are just a mindless cartoon enemy to serve as eventual fodder for the Joe team.

Cobrala's plot is to spread spores across the world that will cause any human exposed to them to turn into a snake. This will enable the ancient snake race to leave their caves and reclaim the world as their own. Cobrala, unhappy with Cobra Commander's management of the organization in years past, decides to make him the first victim of the spores.

Which brings us to offense number two. It was bad enough taking Cobra Commander out of the spotlight for this movie, but they took it a step further and turned him into a snake for the latter half of the film! Perhaps G.I. Joe: The Movie was meant to usher out the old generation and bring in a new enemy… but it was a failed attempt.

The same problem plagues the G.I. Joe team, though to a lesser degree. The spotlight is placed on a group of new recruits including Lt. Falcon, the half-brother of Duke. While Falcon (voiced by Don Johnson) does bring some personality and conflict into the Joe ranks, the other recruits possess little personality and are as dull as rusty nails. One of them is a basketball player. Dressed in a basketball outfit and constantly spouting basketball terminology for crying out loud! Chances are some of the newcomers will make you gnash your teeth and look forward to the scenes that return the focus to the older favorites.

So what are the positives? Well, even at its worst G.I. Joe was a far better cartoon than most. Despite its faults, this movie is entertaining to watch. Another nice element was the quantity of characters they brought to the big screen. Although many of the characters aren't much more than background characters, die-hard fans will find a who's-who of the Cobra and G.I. Joe membership. It was a good decision to give some of the lesser-known gems the spotlight, even if those moments were sometimes fleeting.

In the end, when compared to the two original G.I. Joe mini-series, as well as the subsequent cartoon series, G.I. Joe: The Movie is a bit of a letdown. I don't recommend this movie as a first introduction to the G.I. Joe series since it doesn't have the same charm as the previous entries (see our G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero review for the perfect introduction), but I do recommend it as a fun film for old Joe fans as well as those who enjoy quality cartoons. Heck, that first battle alone was worth the price of admission.

Movie rating: 6 stars

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