Class of Nuke 'Em High Review

MPAA Rating: R
Released: 1986

Nerds are puking radioactive waste before jumping out second-floor high school windows and plunging to their death. Honor students have formed a gang of punks that terrorize the halls of Tromaville High School. Party-going kids are smoking radioactive weed and experiencing mind-blowing aftereffects. And a nuclear plant manager is denying any connection with the aforementioned events.

Of course I'm talking about the cult Troma hit Class of Nuke 'Em High, a twisted comedy-horror from the kings of low-budget B-movie sleaze.

Having watched Class of Nuke 'Em High a short while ago, I'm left pondering one question: what the hell was I thinking?

I knew that just about anything from Troma is campy low-budget trash, and I also knew that Class of Nuke 'Em High was one of their most popular highlights. But despite this foreknowledge, I watched it anyways. Somebody smack me.

Of course the real reason I watched it is I'm a closet B-movie fan that enjoys the occasional campfest. Some days you feel like steak, other days you feel like a McDonald's hamburger. Tonight I felt like hamburger, but instead I was fed a helping of rancid fish guts much like the type they serve on Fear Factor.

But enough complaining – let's get on with the actual plot summary. Well, that may be difficult since Class of Nuke 'Em High really didn't have a plot, but I'll give it a shot anyways.

An industrial accident occurs in a nuclear power plant, causing the landscape and water around the plant to become contaminated with leaked radioactive waste. Rather than shut the plant down, the plant manager orders his men to keep things running full-speed.

Located a few feet away from the site of the accident is Tromaville High School. Clearly placing a school within such a short vicinity of a nuclear plant is a stroke of genius that the town planners should be proud of. Anyhow, as the film opens a nerd drinks some contaminated water from a fountain, starts drooling some green foam, and jumps through a window and falls to his death. All the while his fellow classmates are applauding the little performance. And I thought New York schools were tough…

Apparently exposure to the radioactivity over time has caused the school's former honor students to drastically change their appearances and lifestyles to form a punk gang known as the Cretins. Led by Spike (Robert Prichard), these punks terrorize nerds, provoke brawls and sell toxic weed dubbed the "Atomic High."

Chrissy (Janelle Brady) and her boyfriend Warren (Gil Brenton) are two clean-cut students that end up taking a puff of the contaminated pot during an indoor bikini party. The effects of the weed cause them to make whoopee like oversexed rabbits, suffer weird hallucinations over the coming days and much more.

Ultimately Spike and his gang are expelled from school, and for some reason they blame Warren. To get revenge on the couple, they kidnap Chrissy and drag her to the school basement in an attempt to lure Warren into a trap. But with an assortment of toxic monsters running loose within the school, the punks may be the hunted rather than the hunters.

If that plot summary sounds like a scattered mess, that's because it is! The old adage that you can't polish a turd applies here – the best reviewer in the world can't lend any legitimacy to Class of Nuke 'Em High or its storyline.

Class of Nuke 'Em High is heavier on lowbrow comedy and lighter on gore and nudity than most Troma productions. It does deliver what Troma fans seek, but not nearly in the same quantity as flicks like The Toxic Avenger.

In the end I just couldn't get into this movie. Although there was some genuinely amusing scenes that made me crack a light grin, for the most part the comedic attempts were just a bit too juvenile and forced. Since this film has become a cult hit since its release there are obviously many that would disagree with my assessment, but Class of Nuke 'Em High just didn't do it for me.

Movie rating: 3 stars

If you enjoyed Class of Nuke 'Em High you may also find the following films to be of interest:

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Movie Sitemap
Nuclear Power Plant

Class of Nuke 'Em High

Gil Brenton as Warren

The Cretins

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